First Date Survival Guide

When embarking on a first date, remember the old Head & Shoulders shampoo slogan: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” A first date should be an exciting and hopeful experience, but for most people it is accompanied by nervous anxiety. If your date preparation consists of trying on every outfit in your closet and neurotically reapplying your makeup, resulting in a messy meltdown, take a few breaths and consider these helpful tips.

Be yourself. This sound simple, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, making an effort to impress someone often prevents us from being our true selves. This tactic is transparent and usually unsuccessful. Don’t pretend to like something just because he does. Have the confidence to present the best version of yourself. What’s the point of him liking you if you’re not really you?

Stay positive. Complaining about everything from the food to restaurant décor will not lead to a second date. Instead, acknowledge and appreciate the effort your date put into planning this evening. Avoid sentences that begin with “I don’t” and “I can’t.” Turn positives into negatives. Instead of droning on about how much of a jerk your boss is, tell him you would prefer to work for someone who understands your passion for innovative ideas.

Don’t dwell on the past. Discussing your ex on a first date should be avoided. Your date wants to get to know you, not who you used to be in a relationship with. Bashing your ex is a turn-off for obvious reasons, but even making a positive reference will make him wonder if you’re actually over your former flame. A first date is a new beginning; don’t ruin it by focusing on something that has already ended.

Listen. This is another simple concept that becomes so difficult during the date. You’re too busy worrying about the possibility that salad is stuck in your teeth to actually hear why his life long dream is to climb Mount Everest. Listening to your date will not only help you learn more about him, but it will also give you material for continuing the conversation based on your common interests. Talking is good; listening is better.

A few quick tips to remember: This is a date, not an interview. Never criticize or ridicule your date. You might not feel a spark, but don’t escape from the bathroom window; he might turn out to be a great friend! Be respectful, relax, be yourself, and keep it positive!