Erotic Workout

Prepare yourself: it’s workout season. The extra calories from holiday meals have hit our thighs, and we’re still following our New Year’s resolutions. It’s the time of year when publishers release books on fitness and diets, when stores put their exercise gear front and center, and when gyms offer membership specials in hopes that you resolved to get in shape (again). One workout is hoping to couple the traditional January fitness craze with another popular trend: 50 Shades of Grey. The erotic bestselling novel has already spawned or inspired a movie deal, a classical album, clothing, sex toys, and hotel packages, but in a merchandising move no one saw coming, one fitness trainer has developed a workout inspired by the novel.

Fitness trainer Kristen James (no relation to the 50 Shades author E.L. James) has created a routine called “50 Shapes Workout.” James, of Manhattan Equinox gym, has 13 moves that will not only get you toned, but promises to get you in shape to re-enact the scenes from the book. The moves themselves are based on actions in the book. Some of the exercises have titles like “bend-over-better,” the “seductive squat,” and “sexy scissors.” Am I the only one who thinks “seductive squat” is an oxymoron? James’ website says that the workouts “targets glutes, upper body and the core” and require nothing more than a mat and a chair.  Speaking of her website, the background features a photo of James laying on her back looking like she just finished a steamy workout. What kind of workout is left up to your imagination.

James believes that these core strength and flexibility-focused exercises will lead to “better, bolder sex” like Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey have in the book. Perhaps the confidence of a toned body and the ability to “bend over better” really will help. I wonder if she has any moves to make wearing Ana Steele-esque stilettos a little more bearable.

Some believe that this will be the latest trend in fitness and with the way rope sales have shot up since the book has been on the bestseller list, that is entirely possible. Things associated with 50 Shades tend to sell. James charges $150 for a one-on-one “50 Shapes” session or just $25 per person for groups or events with more than four people. Anyone planning a bachelorette or midlife crisis birthday party, take note of that group rate. This could be the new alternative to pole dancing classes.

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