Lifestyle

Space Jam Sequel?

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

Holy crap. I try not to begin articles like that, but nothing else fits here. Word began to leak last week that there is going to be a sequel to the godawful (yet so-bad-it's-good) movie, Space Jam, which came out eighteen years ago. You remember, the movie where Michael Jordan played basketball in f*cking outer space with the Looney Tunes characters? A movie so batshit insane, you would think no one would want to go anywhere near it? The movie that kind of made people like Michael Jordan and Looney Tunes even less? Yes, that movie is getting a sequel.Read More »

What Is Up With Bruce Jenner's Face?

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

All right, this may seem mean, but that is not my intention here. I am not just trying to pick on someone to pick on them. Bruce Jenner may be odd-looking, but for the most part he seems like an okay guy. But I think there is an issue going on that very few people seem to be addressing. Is it odd of me to think that Bruce Jenner might be slowly trying to turn into a woman?

Don't laugh! Again, not kidding.

Let's look at the evidence.

He gets his skin peeled back tighter than pantyhose pulled over a watermelon.Read More »

Some Rappers Need To Learn To Enunciate

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

Old white guys will probably say all rap is hard to understand, but that comes from a place of deeply rooted racism. Rap did not really start getting inaudible around Lil’ Wayne. As much as he may have written a handful of songs that people loved, let us not forgot, this is the MC who brought us “Wobble-Dee Wobble-Dee” as a hook. This is the rapper who made it okay to rap nonsense. The bad part is that it has caught on and sort of become a sub-genre of rap unto itself.Read More »

The Paul Walker-Tila Tequila Conspiracy

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

As I am sure many of you heard, Tila Tequila came out and said that Paul Walker's death was a ritualistic murder/sacrifice for the Illuminati gods. She also claims that when she almost died it was the same thing. She has also just released a sex tape and is claiming she is the new Hitler on social media. Hit-Tila. No joke. To get more of that insane story, click here.Read More »

Rihanna vs. Her Mother

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

There were a handful of awkward and weird moments at the 2013 AMAs, but outside of Miley's giant flying space feline, I would say Rihanna accepting an award from her mother took the cake. Some may have seen it as a sweet moment, but I was not among them. I saw through the sweet, shiny exterior to the boiling lava right under the surface. Allow me to expound, if I may.Read More »

My Five “Hall Pass” Celebrities

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

You know what “hall pass” celebrities are, right? The famous folks that you can sleep with—with your partner’s blessing—should the right opportunities arise. You can't actually seek them out for sex, but if you just happen to be at the same place at the same time, and they take the initiative, you are allowed to succumb to your desires.Read More »

Uncle Grandpa’s Secret Agenda

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

I’m pretty sure you haven't seen Uncle Grandpa, Cartoon Network’s new show. Heck, I would venture a guess that half of you haven't even heard of it. I’ve watched it from the first episode, and genuinely enjoy it. Yes, like most current cartoons, it is batshit insane, but has a great deal of fun reveling in that insanity. But there’s also some subtext involved, which makes me like the show even more.

What is this subtext? Well, Uncle Grandpa is clearly a show aimed at homosexuals on drugs. Let's not even try to pretend that isn't awesome, because it is.Read More »

How “The Walking Dead” Won Me Back

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

You know what, Walking Dead? I just can't quit you. I mean, I was so close this season. I just was not on board with how many tonal changes seemed to have occurred on the show since season three. I didn't like how Carol had suddenly become a cold-hearted killer. I didn't like how Rick, who was the main reason everyone has thrived as long as they have, suddenly seemed to be so crippled with self-doubt. Hell, I didn't even like the new zombie plague that seemed intent on turning whoever it wanted into a zombie as it saw fit.Read More »

Five Celebrities I Think Would Be Fantastic In Bed

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

Recently I wrote an article for this site about five celebrities I assumed would be awful in bed. Now we all know assumptions make an ass out of you and me, but that was some good reading, so I have no regrets. Thing is, I can't just stand off to the side and cast stones about which celebrities would be awful lays. Thus, the only sensible thing to do in this situation is to speculate about what celebrities would be fantastic in bed. The proverbial yin to that piece's yang—or should I say wang? No, that would be an awful joke.Read More »

Five Celebrities I Assume Would Be Awful In Bed

in category of Lifestyle, Remy Carreiro

The best part of my job is that I sometimes get to assume things, and get this—I’m paid to assume them out loud. To that end, I’m officially assuming I can judge how good a celebrity will be in bed by just their demeanor. It may be boorish of me, but in the same breath, don't be self-righteous and pretend you don't think about things like this. We all do it—I just have so little shame that I share my thoughts with everyone. (Be grateful; I heard it makes for interesting reads.)

All right, on to the slandering of celebrity sexual ability for shits and giggles.Read More »