Anya and Alexei: Living Doll or Just Weird?

in category of Bad News Suz, living doll, Suz Baldwin, weird news

So, have you seen the creepy Russian doll living out its life on Facebook? I’m sorry. There’s really no other way to describe her. Now, I don’t speak or read Russian, so I can only speculate as to what the real story is...but this appears to be The Life and Times of Anya the Doll, a beautiful – if somewhat frigid-looking – doll who is blessed with the good fortune of having an owner who keeps her in stylish, form-fitting clothes.

I mean, she’s not real, right? She can’t be. No one’s gaze is that glassy. There is just something not quite right about her. She’s a doll – a life-sized doll with Barbie proportions that her owner (either a very happy or very lonely man) carts around.

I’m picturing a Lars and the Real Girl scenario here, with the Russian Ryan Gosling, whom I will call Alexei, toting around his staring blond friend, whom he lovingly refers to as Anya, to every event he attends. His family is, of course, mortified, but Alexei does not care. For him, Anya is not only a really awesome piece of decoration, she is a cherished pet. He even arranges playdates with other men and their dolls.

The guys arrange their girlfriends in a circle to gossip, then grab some beers and watch the game. “They’re talking about us,” Alexei’s friend Sven complains. “Girls will be girls,” Alexei replies.

He takes Anya home. “Hey, don’t stare at Sven when you guys talk about us. He’s picking up on it.”

Anya does not answer, but deep down, Alexei knows she is agreeing with him.

Much as I enjoyed concocting the idea of a wacky Russian toting around his living doll, I suspected that wasn’t the case. I put my rusty journalism skills to work and did some digging. She’s alive, all right.

A number of those pictures are apparently photoshopped, although video of her suggests she’s got the blank stare look down pat. She is, apparently, one of those women that participates in the “Living Doll” craze, in which grown women (and, more frequently, teenagers) decide that the life of a vacant-eyed child’s doll is the one for them. They might pop in opaque contact lenses, dress up in frilly gowns, and strike doll-like poses. Sometimes they speak in high-pitched, little-girl voices.

No, I don’t get the appeal either.

The language barrier makes it difficult to discern whether she’s actually living a doll’s life all day, every day, or if she just posed for these pictures and went back to looking like a normal human being afterwards.

Frankly, I liked my original speculation better. Anya and Alexei forever!


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