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Your lifestyle, your quirk
Celebrities continue to push the trend for females to use Halloween as an excuse to dress up (or down, really) as slutty – with the pretense of it being “sexy” – as possible. Let’s look at a few of the “winners” this year, shall we?
Kim Kardashian reminded us why she doesn’t go blonde, as she looked…not her usually flawless self in a waist-length, bleach blonde wig, giant fake clamshells covering (half of) her money-makers, and a sequined green mermaid skirt, cut to look like flower fins. I guess she was Ariel’s older cousin (maybe the one who traded her brain to Ursula for bigger boobs?). Kim also proved to the world just how whipped she already has Kanye, as she showed up alongside her dressed as a sailor – striped shirt, buttons, red shoes and all. He looked every bit as ridiculous as you’d imagine.
Proving that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Kim’s mom, Kris Jenner, dressed up as Wonder Woman. Kris should have had it easy, as the actual Wonder Woman’s costume is pretty skimpy anyway, but the master Hollywood Momager found a way to garner some extra attention (even bad attention to a reality television star is good, right?) by including a nip slip in her over-posed Twitter picture modeling her costume.
Emma Roberts gets points for a new creative way to ride her famous aunt’s coattails in Hollywood. Emma dressed up as the titular character from Pretty Woman, her aunt’s most memorable role. However, the 21-year-old aspiring actress of course opted to emulate her aunt’s character while she was still a prostitute, rather than after she got out of the business and dressed, well, appropriately.
Nicole Scherzinger was supposedly a vampire, but I fail to see what made her a vampire beyond a set of fangs. The rest of her outfit didn’t make a lot of sense, as it was just a shiny red corset and fishnet tights. Since when was that a vampire outfit?
Paris Hilton reminded us how uncreative she is, as she went as Alice, from Alice and Wonderland, for the second time. However, if I recall, Alice was supposed to be a young girl wearing a modest baby blue dress with a white apron. Paris is a 31-year-old (fill-in-the-blank. She doesn’t have a real career that I’m aware of.) wearing an extremely short, corseted silk dress-like thing that did have some baby blue on it, but it also had playing cards all over the front. I guess she got the Queen of Hearts and Alice mixed up. Considering Paris has likely never actually read the children’s book, I guess we can’t blame her for getting confused.
I’m not sure what exactly Christina Aguilera was supposed to be, but it was definitely on the trashy side. She sported a few strands of black material covering her middle and…that’s about it. Only orange pasties covered her girly goods, but rest assured, her gams were nearly fully covered by thigh-high black boots. Phew? Funny enough, her head was the most adorned, with a giant pinkish-grey frizzy wig and a crooked crown. Her make-up looked pretty much like it always does. Again, your guess is as good as mine as to what she was supposed to be.
Hopefully, kids today aren’t getting their Halloween costume ideas from the stars, or those of us with daughters are in trouble.