Worst Trends of the Nineties

As a kid born in 1994, I got to witness styles from the late nineties and early 2000s. And let me tell you, looking back is pretty amusing. Teenagers and adults alike came up with the craziest things to wear! Dark lip liner, leather pants…they all were more than unflattering and really unfortunate. Thank goodness we know better these days! I want to take a look at some of the worst trends of the late 20^th century, namely, the late ’90s. A few of these things were popular in the really early 2000s, too, so this is more of a generational list. I hope you shied away from these fads, but I know I didn’t. Guilty as charged. Take a look back and prepare to be amused.

1.       Choker Necklaces – You know those plastic, stretchy necklaces that Claire’s seemed to specialize in? I hated those. I will say that I have been guilty of wearing them a couple of times, but I wouldn’t dare admit to it in public. For one thing, they’re uncomfortable! The plastic was hard and scratchy, and I was forever pinching my neck skin in them. They’re also the most unfashionable necklaces anyone ever designed.

2.       Bondage Pants – This is more of a gothic trend, but nonetheless a very unfortunate one. Bondage pants are those long, baggy affairs with tons of chains and neon piping. Hot Topic had a penchant for these, and as far as I know, it still does. But I really don’t recommend wearing them at all. They’re really hot, really long, and really weird-looking. I swear those pants are baggy enough to hide an entire frat house party in there, which is why some schools banned them; kids were hiding weapons, drugs, and the like in there. I’m sorry, but any pair of pants that’s large enough to hide weapons in is never a good idea, and anything that scary-looking needs to take a hike anyways. Besides, nothing matches them but black! Or more neon colors! Really, people.

3.       The middle-part boy hair – This trend was the worst haircut I’ve ever seen. It never did anything for anybody. Jocks seemed to favor this look, and I guess you could let them slide for being muscular or sporty or whatever. Middle parts look cute on girls with long hair, but not on boys. This is not the 1920s, nor does your head require you to host the Continental Divide.

4.       Overalls – Overalls have got to be some of the least flattering things you could ever pick to wear. The top of them cut your torso off in a weird way, making you look stumpy and thicker than you really are. They’re also the stereotypical choice of people who dip tobacco. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with being a little backwoods; heck, I grew up on a goat farm! But overalls are meant for work, and not for public viewing. Some people have endeavored to make them cute by putting the front patch down low, and making the straps really long, or by making them into shorts, but it only gets worse the harder you try. You can go from cowgirl to “My office is open after nine p.m. on the corner of Main and 1^st” really, really fast.

This list makes me grateful that these trends aren’t really popular anymore. I know we’ll look back in a few years and say, “Feather extensions? What in the heck was I thinking?” But until then, we have these guidelines on what not to do. Seriously, these fads should never, ever come back into style. Ever.