Confessions of a Skinny-Fat Warrior

I love MMA. I’ve been watching since UFC 1 came out when I was in Jr. High. Long gone are the days when a Sumo wrestler could be seen lumbering around the octagon. Now with all the money behind them, most fighters can afford to train like Olympians. The popularity of the sport has also led to a craze in the world of fitness.

Google “MMA Workout” and you can watch hours of video of ripped men and women hitting tractor tires with sledgehammers. Wait, why doesn’t YouTube have a slo-mo button? Anyway, it seems at first glance that if you want to be ripped like a champion, you either have to pay a $200 a month gym membership, or work at a tire destruction plant as a sledge technician. Oh, wait, that’s not a thing. So just the expensive gym then.

If you’re like me (poor) and having your tiny apartment dominated by a giant rubber tire and a bunch of sledgehammers is more of a commitment than you’re ready to make, don’t panic! There is another way. I got tired of being skinny-fat, and so over the past year I’ve tried various body weight exercise regimens. I went through maybe three before I found one that works for me.

Ready? Google “Tom Hardy Warrior workout.” Yeah, from the movie Warrior. Before you laugh, hear me out. It’s fast: under 25 minutes a day to start. It’s cheap: all you need is a yoga mat and a set of dumbbells. It’s effective: it focuses on core conditioning. Most importantly, it’s very simple to scale up the difficulty as you improve. Also, did you see Tom Hardy in that movie? He is terrifying. He looks like someone spray-painted the Hulk with a can of Tom Hardy-colored Krylon.

Full disclosure: I do not look like Tom Hardy. I can not afford Human Growth Hormone, either.  However, I am no longer skinny-fat. I am on the journey from skinny-fat to chunky-toned, which is better. Ideally you do this workout at least twice a day, but I have been getting results doing it just once a day, and I’m lazy. If you are even slightly more committed than I am (not hard), you should see some results fast. Need some motivation? Go watch Warrior and try not to feel puny when Tom Hardy takes off his shirt.