Why I Wish Paris Hilton Would Just Go Away

Man, I wish I could meet Paris Hilton in real life so I could tell her to grow the hell up. The professional socialite is 31 years old, but has the maturity level of 14-year-old. I am at my wit’s end seeing various reports about her in the media, always featuring pictures that she is clearly posing for.  

Get over yourself, Paris.

I can understand someone (myself included) wanting to look put together and lovely for a picture, but when the entire scene looks contrived and strained in order to attain the “best pose” or “best light,” it comes across exactly as it is – fake. And that is the only thing Paris Hilton has ever come across as to me.

Okay, that’s not fair; that’s not the only thing she’s come across to me. I also think of her as extremely narcissistic and ignorant, if I’m being completely honest.

Why am I not cutting Paris an inch of slack? What has she done that is so terrible? The list is pretty long, but let’s just focus on the past two weeks. I think it provides a good enough example to support my point.

Last month, while riding in a cab with a male friend, Paris was quoted saying

"Gay guys are the horniest people in the world." She proceeded to call homosexuals “disgusting” and stated her belief that "most of them probably have AIDS." (I can’t even write that without shaking my head.)

The conversation had been secretly recorded by the cab driver, so Paris couldn’t deny that she’d said it. It’s easy to see where I get my idea that Paris is ignorant, no?

Paris’ representative (who, no matter what their salary is, doesn’t make enough for what they have to deal with) did their best to twist the perception of the comment to paint Paris in a slightly better light. The rep claimed Paris’ comments were actually meant to express her concern about unprotected sex – not intended to be homophobic slurs. Kudos for trying, Rep, but I’m not buying it. And I doubt anyone else is either.

So we’ve established Paris’ ignorance. But where do I get off calling her immature and narcissistic? Look no further than her current arm candy, a 21-year-old boytoy, River Viiperi (just picture a taller version of Justin Bieber). 

Very early Monday morning (still partying from Sunday night because, you know, that’s what mature, responsible people do in their 30s), Paris decided to spice up her dance floor experience by not only dancing closely with a female friend, but also leaning in and puckering up for kiss (perhaps I should add “hypocrite” to my list of adjectives for Paris).

Paris’ boyfriend allegedly got jealous of the girl-on-girl action (read: cry for attention) and punched out the boyfriend of the girl Paris smooched. Why the other girl’s boyfriend deserved to be punched because Paris kissed his girlfriend, I don’t exactly follow. The guy had to seek medical attention, and the cops on the scene stated, “They had enough probably cause to believe a misdemeanor battery occurred.”

So, on top of all of Paris’ stellar attributes, she also knows how to pick ’em. Clearly.

I could go on, but really, do I need to? I think we could all use a break from Paris and her antics.