Having it All – Sort-Of

I’m a bit late to the “having it all” party, but not for lack of trying. Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself at my computer debating what I should write, what I could write, and if my opinion on the subject was even valid.

One of the problems with male privilege is that many times, men are too oblivious to the world around them to recognize that we have it. Many don’t even know what the phrase “male privilege” even means. Even someone like me, who is aware that it exists, doesn’t necessarily pick up on how deep that privilege goes.

As a male, I could, under the right circumstances, “have it all,” and no one would question this. It’s accepted, even expected, for guys to settle down and start a family while having the job they want. That’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it just happens to be a thing.

Writing about this gets weirder for me, because I’ve never been particularly interested in the traditional life plan. Sure, the “settling down, white picket fences, 2.5 kids and some pets thing” sounds great, but they sound great for other people. Even though I’m almost 30, I still view the world through the lens of someone younger and more selfish.

I want the condo in the city, a partner I don’t have to share with children, and a job that pays me enough to indulge in the expensive hobbies I’m drawn towards. To me that sounds really cool. To me that’s “having it all.”

That, of course, is not what I have. That’s okay, because what I have is pretty cool too.

I, like some in my generation, never moved out of my father’s home, but I help with bills, so I’m not a complete freeloader. I have a wonderful girlfriend who accepts the fact I spend many of my weekends on the road doing silly things. I have a job that I dig that comes with its own office, health insurance, and is well air conditioned. It’s a good life.

When I was getting ready to go to college, my only goal was to eventually have a job that didn’t require me to work in a cubicle. That’s what scared me the most. These days, the only thing I really worry about is what’s going to happen when I have to move away from home or find a new job. Has my complacency made me inadequately prepared to face the real world?

Right now I don’t have it all. I may never have it all. And that’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it just happens to be a thing.