Learning to Compromise

For the past week, I’ve been in Kansas City and OrangeBeach. I went to Kansas City for a national competition, and then flew down to the beach for vacation. So needless to say, it’s been a little hectic, and it’s been tiring, traveling across the country in so short a time (I don’t know how the celebs do it!), and I’m glad to finally be headed home. I swear, I’ve spent more time on the road this summer than any other time in my life!

But if there’s one thing this week has taught me, it’s been how to compromise a little bit better. When I was at the SkillsUSA competition, I was rooming with a deeply religious girl. She writes in her devotional journal every night and listens to contemporary Christian music every morning. I’m not a profoundly religious person, so it bothered me at first that the other girl seemed so eager to push that on me. However, we just realized that it was easier to leave the room when the other was doing something disagreeable than to argue. The boys on the team were staying in the hotel room right next to us, so it made much more sense just to get out for a while.

I’m the kind of person that says, “Always stick to your guns,” and I think that’s gotten me into some hairy situations before. I’m finding out that sometimes compromising can simply be walking away from the situation. It’s often far easier to walk away than to argue or fight, and it’s also much less stressful. In a way, it’s more selfish to walk away from a situation simply because you’re only taking care of yourself – you’d rather not give the other person time of day. But if the problem isn’t worth fighting about, why would you raise a ruckus over it anyway?

Of course, if there is something you feel strongly about, you need to make your voice heard and try to find some common ground with the other person. My family and I went on vacation with sixteen other people, so there was plenty of that going on! We had to learn to share sleeping space and get used to one another’s sleeping habits and other personal quirks just to get along. I don’t like being around so many people. I like quiet. So I’d go sit on the balcony, or my cousin and I would go shopping to get away from it all.

At one point, my father wanted me to go to the Pensacola military base. I cared nothing about it, and I didn’t want to go at all. But he wanted me to, so my compromise was that he drop me off at the mall before we went. There wasn’t an argument, nothing of that kind, because we were both calm and rational.

It’s always important to be kind, yet firm, when trying to get your point across. Instead of saying, “That’s really stupid, and I’m not doing that,” try saying something like, “I understand where you’re coming from, but we just don’t see that the same way. Is there something else we could try?” Remember to be completely open-minded.

I encourage you to try and make compromises where the need arises. No one likes to fight, so it’s often better to get along with someone, particularly a roommate or coworker. Just remember to be firm and kind at the same time, and that sometimes, you just need to walk away.

Have a great week!