The Misadventures of a Dust Bunny

Every Halloween, a decision has to be made. What are you going to dress up as? Who are you going to be? It’s the single day of the year that you can be anyone or anything you like. You gotta make it count.

This year, I decided to be a pun costume. I’d never done that before. I’m always a character from a book or a movie or something. But this time, I wanted to be something a bit cleverer. I decided on a dust bunny.

Sounds cute in theory, right? A fluffy something you pull out from under the couch, with ears, a bunny tail…well, yeah, in theory. Not in practice.

I decided to make my costume: I’d fake a bodysuit with a long-sleeved t-shirt and some Spanx. Then I’d put on some “fur” with pillow stuffing and make it dirty by throwing some loose cosmetic powder on and using black craft paint. It all sounded easy enough.

I spent a grand whopping total of three and a half hours gluing on fur and making it dirty. I tried the whole ensemble on, ears and all. Oh, God, I looked just like an overstuffed rabbit that had left in a mud puddle. It was awful! So I took off some fur and got back to work.

Another hour later, I resurfaced, finished again. Well, I thought I was finished. I put it on again and was immediately just ashamed. It was awful! I went over to my friend’s house and the first thing out of her mouth was that I looked like “dirty rain cloud.” Okay. I was definitely not wearing THAT.

I was quickly running out of options. I could quit the ears and be a…dirty rain cloud…or find something else. The aforementioned friend, Haley, happily offered me her Batgirl costume. It consists of a corset, fishnets, and a cape. Not much to speak of, really. And while I don’t normally wear risqué costumes or enjoy looking overtly sexy in public, it’s better than looking like the world’s first animated dirty cloud. And we’re at a house party, so I’m not out traipsing the streets and scaring little children who are trick-or-treating.

Note to self (and all of you DIY’ers out there): Don’t wait until the last day to create a costume, and don’t suck up all of the water vapor in the area, because nobody wants to be a dirty cloud for Halloween.