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Your lifestyle, your quirk
I recently did an article on the new movie The Avengers. If you haven’t seen the movie, read it to catch yourself up! If you are a fan, you already know who the main characters are: Iron Man, Black Widow, the Hulk, Thor, Captain America, and Hawkeye. They make up a superhero/super-assassin team known as the Avengers, the best crime fighting collaboration the world has ever seen.
One of my best friends went to see the movie with me, and we talked a lot about who we would be if we were to be a team member. It’s a hard decision to make, because they’re all so awesome, so I decided to come up with a guide to help determine which Avenger you are! It might possibly be the most important question you ever ask yourself.
We’ll take it by character, describing each one in detail, and let you choose your best fit!
1. Iron Man – Tony Stark, by definition, is a genius. He’s a self-made billionaire and owns the Stark Company. He’s done all kinds of work, including weapons and arms production, but is investing a lot in clean energy at the moment. Stark is a real character. He’s got a smart mouth, a cocky attitude, and the infamous shiny metal suit. He was kidnapped several years ago; thus, the “core” in his chest keeps shrapnel from piercing his heart. So Tony’s definitely got a reason to be so edgy all the time – he’s in constant danger of dying! He’s smart enough to learn not only how to keep himself alive, but how to thrive. He creates Jarvis, the computer system that manages his business and suit production, and he creates the Iron Man suit. So if you’re intelligent, a little irritable, have a good eye for business, and have a little (or a lot) of an attitude, this is your match! Don’t forget that during the movie, the other guys harped on Stark for not being a real “hero.” But at the end of it, he completely saved the day!
2. Dr. Banner – Bruce Banner is a penitent man above all. When he tried to re-create Captain America’s abilities in himself, he instead got the Hulk. He was so sickened with himself, he attempted suicide, but to no avail. The Hulk is pretty much indestructible. He learned to control his rage and decided to do good in the world. We meet him in India, a doctor caring for the sick and poor. It’s the goodness of his heart that leads him to be called back in by the Avengers, tricked by Black Widow to an abandoned hut, where she persuades him to join the effort. But he’s initially asked back for his brilliance. Dr. Banner is an expert of nuclear radiation, which S.H.I.E.L.D. needs to detect in order to locate the stolen Tesseract. So if you’ve ever aspired to power beyond your control and paid the price, you’re similar to Dr. Banner. If you’re also good-hearted, intelligent, and sorry for past mistakes, you’d make a great Hulk!
3. Hawkeye – Hawkeye has no real superpowers, but he’s an accomplished assassin with perhaps the best aim the world has ever seen. He works wonders with a bow, but can also shoot a gun and perform well in hand-to-hand combat. Hawkeye is brainwashed at the beginning of the movie, and joins forces with Thor’s evil brother Loki. The Black Widow performs her self-termed “cognitive recalibration,” meaning she hit him on the head really hard. Hawkeye returns to normal, fighting with the Avengers, out for Loki’s blood. Hawkeye is pretty down-to-Earth; he just does his job, and does it well. He’s also quite brave to be fighting in a war between demigods. If you’re a man’s man, or a tomboy, and aren’t very dramatic, plus you have good aim and athleticism, welcome to the team, Hawkeye!
4. Black Widow – Agent Tasha is one hardcore girl. She’s not only beautiful, but just happens to be the best assassin the world has ever seen. If you’re like the Widow, you’re very intelligent. She can gather information from the unlikeliest of suspects, as depicted in her first scene of the movie. She’s also extremely good under pressure. When she needs to get out of a bind, she’s not afraid to use a little elbow grease and destroy every bad guy within a ten mile radius. She’s also got a lot of initiative. In the battle scene, the aliens are riding what looks a little like flying mopeds, to be honest. And it doesn’t matter that she’s never steered one in her life! She takes out the alien piloting the machine and steers the craft herself.
5. Captain America – One of the Captain’s most distinguishing qualities is that he’s old-fashioned. So if you’re planning on suiting up with his shield, you’ve got to be a pretty conservative-minded person. I’m not downing the Cap at all, it’s just that he hails from a different time (the 1940s), so of course his ideals will be different. He’s very loyal, because he’s the epitome of a good soldier. If you want to be this superhero, you’ve got to be quick on your feet, ready to follow instructions, and have a loyalty unlike any other.
6. Thor – Oh, Thor, where do we begin? Thor is the most regal of all the Avengers. Though of course he would be – he’s a demigod! But if you want to be the son of Odin, you really need to have your heart in the right place. Thor loves his brother Loki despite his wrongdoings. Even so, Thor brings Loki to justice on their home planet, so we know that what’s right is ultimately more important to him. If you want to be this guy (well, he’s not really human), you’re going to have to be regal, a leader, and value justice above all else.
There you are! A complete guide to which Avenger you would be. Hopefully you get it figured out soon, so you can start saving the world!