Call 911 if…You Need a Date?

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Uh, yeah, that police guy that came to my house? Would he go on a date with me?”

Are you kidding me? What do people think emergency hotlines are for? Not speed dating! But a woman really did call 911 to ask for a date with the police officer she’d just met. What was she thinking? I don’t know. But she’s not alone. Plenty of other hooligans have called into 911 services for silly reasons. It’s kind of amusing, but also really annoying. What if someone really needed help and couldn’t because some yahoo was pranking 911? I shake my head at these people. However, that’s no reason we can’t enjoy their silliness!

1.      Speed Dating – A woman from Aloha, Oregon, took a shine to the police officer that made a house call at her residence. Lorna Jeanne Dudash's neighbors called her in for a noise complaint, and when the police arrived, she must’ve fell in love, because after they left, she dialed 911 to ask that “cutie pie” for a date. She never got it. The police officer did come back, but he arrested her. She faces fines and/or jail time. Who knows? Maybe the guy will come around and they can go on a picnic in her cell or something.

2.      One Lonely Guy – Apparently, people will go to great lengths if they’re lonely. John Triplette, a 45-year old single man, called the 911 dispatchers over 27,000 times. Yes, you heard me. Twenty-seven thousand. Police say he would make animal noises, minimal conversation, and weird grunts and sighs. He’s facing jail time and fines, as well. I hope the dispatch caller was good enough company to be worth jail time.

3.      A Man Who Watches Too Many Movies – A disappointed German housewife calls the emergency hotline and, in a very sad voice, tells the guys that there’s an emergency. When the police arrive, they find her pacing the front porch while her husband is inside watching porn. Turns out, the guy watches a lot of porn, every day, and this woman had just had enough. While the police couldn’t help her out, they did refer the couple to a counselor. How thoughtful.

Some people do crazy things! Listen, guys, be serious. Only call 911 if there’s a real emergency, like not being able to open your fingernail polish.