What Your Car Color Says About You

When a person buys a car, much thought (hopefully) is put into choosing the make and model. A car says a lot about you. Are you flamboyant, wealthy, or practical? Your vehicle will be an indication. Does the car or truck need to serve a purpose, or is it just a comfortable status symbol? In many ways, a vehicle is an extension of the driver. But what many people don’t think about in an analytical way is the implication of car color.

Most folks have a favorite color and they go with that. Or they might see a particular ride in a certain color and be struck by it (the “chimp sees something shiny on the ground” syndrome) and makes an impulse decision. What these individuals fail to realize is that they have told us some things about themselves because of the color they chose for their vehicle.

In no particular order, here are some basic car colors and what they say about you.

Yellow – somebody did not get enough attention as a child and wants a car color that screams “for the love of Carroll Shelby and all things automotive, look at me…often.” It’s either that or the driver was a canary in a previous life and is now seeking out a new mate. You decide.

Red – somebody is about to get a moving violation or is involved in a sex act in a moving vehicle or, better yet, is about to get a moving violation while being involved in a sex act in a moving vehicle. Why go halfway? People in red cars certainly don’t.

Silver – somebody wants us to believe that their portfolio is bigger than ours, that they only eat at restaurants with cloth napkins, they can name all of Mozart’s operas and somehow know what direction the market will be going in.

Black – somebody failed the CIA entrance exam, believes that most everything is or should be a conspiracy, wants to carry a gun on the job, and thinks it would be cool to film their neighbors and friends clandestinely while they do…stuff. Be careful around people who drive black vehicles, even if you can’t prove that they work for the government.

Blue – somebody is trying to get in the womb. They like things mellow, can watch game shows for hours and are, curiously enough, the least likely to shoot a fellow motorist. You can trust a blue car driver most of the time.

Green – somebody might just be an eco-terrorist. They are going to save the Boll weevil even if it destroys an entire industry, will not use plastic bags, and really haven’t thought about the fact that car color they chose is more than likely kind of ugly. If this doesn’t apply, then they might be the type trying to make their lawn look like the green from the seventh hole at Pebble Beach.

White – somebody tuned in, turned on, and dropped out, and their driving has not improved since. They now drive a car that is the same color as their hair. These folks will most likely be in front of you going 12 miles an hour under the speed limit while you are in a rush. There’s a one in six chance they were at Woodstock, a one in seven chance they don’t even realize you are behind them or see the pedestrian in front of them, and a one in 1.1 chance they belong to the AARP. When you see a white vehicle, get ready to pass immediately. 

Orange – somebody wants attention but doesn’t want you to know that they want attention. The car color that says “Are you sure you haven’t noticed me over here?” These owners will do things like make an outrageous statement publicly and then deny it later or cause a major scene of drama and then act like nothing happened when you see them next. Dangerously excitable, yet regretful at a later date.

Purple – somebody plays a lot of Dungeons and Dragons. They want to be an extra on the HBO series Game of Thrones and wish they had been born in the Middle Ages and lived in a castle. Destined to be spotted at a Renaissance Fair, these folks have read everything by J.R.R. Tolkien at least three times and think that the Harry Potter books are literature on the level of something by Dostoevsky. Caution, the purple car driver could have a broadsword or stuffed unicorn in the trunk.

Maroon/burgundy – an odd combination of the traits of silver car and red car drivers with some traits superceding others in specific conditions.

Gray – non-committal silver. Occasionally uses paper napkins and professes to be confused by current market trends.

Believe it or not, car color says as much about the owner as make and model. You were warned.