Horoscopes

Here’s Your Horoscope!

Posted on 04. Feb, 2013 by Remy Carreiro in category of Extracurricular, Lifestyle, Horoscopes, humor, Remy Carreiro
Do the stars favor you this week? Probably not.
Do the stars favor you this week? Probably not.

Aries

You will have a horrible song stuck in your head Tuesday, and it will then be your job to get that same song stuck in the head of everyone you run into today. Pay it forward. Shi Brighhh Likeaaaaa Diamooooo!

Taurus

At some point when you have some free time, go test drive a Ford Taurus, because if you think about it, that is Taurusception, and that might be kind of cool to scratch off your bucket list.

GeminiRead More »

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Here’s Your Horoscope!

Posted on 28. Jan, 2013 by Remy Carreiro in category of Extracurricular, Lifestyle, Horoscopes, Remy Carreiro
Big money, indecent proposals, and floozies!
Big money, indecent proposals, and floozies!

Aries

Someone is going to make an indecent proposal towards you. That indecent proposal will be to watch the Demi Moore film, Indecent Proposal. Reject them.

Taurus

You will be drinking with a good friend around Thursday, and they will attempt to get into their vehicle. Take their keys beforehand to avoid the confrontation and save some lives.

GeminiRead More »

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Here’s Your Horoscope!

Posted on 21. Jan, 2013 by Remy Carreiro in category of Extracurricular, Lifestyle, Horoscopes, humor, Remy Carreiro
Bacon, axe murderers, and metal detectors. Your horoscope awaits within!
Bacon, axe murderers, and metal detectors. Your horoscope awaits within!

Aries

You will stay in bed on Tuesday until well after 7 a.m., which is pretty much unheard of for you. Pat yourself on the back – you earned a little extra. Also, have bacon with breakfast. Yes, it will be that kind of week.

TaurusRead More »

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Here’s Your Horoscope!

Posted on 14. Jan, 2013 by Remy Carreiro in category of Extracurricular, Lifestyle, Horoscopes, Remy Carreiro
Exes, bragging, and songs about Monday: it's going to be a busy week!
Exes, bragging, and songs about Monday: it's going to be a busy week!

Aries

You will be met with the urge to do something insane and spontaneous on Tuesday, but it would benefit you more if you held off on that until Thursday. Fewer witnesses.

Taurus

You will be confronted by the ex of one of your ex’s exes. It will be overwhelming for you, but only because of the math that is required of you to figure out who the person really is. Avoid confrontation and tell them you don't speak English.

GeminiRead More »

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Horoscopes

Posted on 03. Jun, 2012 by stylequirk in category of Opinions, Horoscopes, StyleQuirk

These horoscopes are for entertainment purposes only. Please do not attempt to pull any of these stunts off, as they will only get you fired, or perhaps sent to counseling. May the Force be with you.

Aries

You are a true Jedi Knight, no matter what your boss says. Wear your robes with pride and remember, chicks dig lightsabers.

Taurus

There’s a lot to be said for glamorous entrances. Next time you walk into a room, make sure your boom box is going. A hat with feathers will help you out.Read More »