So the Zombie Wasn’t On Bath Salts After All

We all heard the horrific story of the man who had his face eaten off – as a matter of fact, it’s become something of a national joke. We like to laugh about impending zombie attacks and government conspiracies to cover it up – but it really is a pretty serious matter. Sure, I guess you can have a laugh at the situation because it’s pretty ridiculous for a guy to eat another man’s face, but overall, it’s a very sad. And now, there’s another part of it come to light; something far more serious has come to light.

At first, authorities believed that Rudy Eugene, the man who ate Ronald Poppo’s face, was high on “bath salts,” and that his actions were a result of his drug use. Police shot and killed Eugene because he refused to stop gnawing on the other man’s face, and it was assumed somehow that he was tripping on some pretty strong stuff, but it turns out that’s not the case.

As a matter of fact, authorities now think that Rudy was only smoking marijuana. While the public once thought this man’s actions were just side effects of a crazy drug trip, the man was actually smoking some pot.

An autopsy was performed, and toxicology reports came back with nothing more than pot in them. According to the results, no traces of street drugs or any “bath salts” were found. And while it’s true that marijuana was the only thing found in Eugene’s system, we still don’t know whether or not that was the cause of his actions.

"There is an almost infinite number of chemical substances out there that can trigger unusual behavior," Bruce Goldberger, director of toxicology at the University of Florida, told the Associated Press. "There are many of these synthetic drugs that we currently don't have the methodology to test on, and that is not the fault of the toxicology lab. The challenge today for the toxicology lab is to stay on top of these new chemicals and develop methodologies for them, but it's very difficult and very expensive. There is no one test or combination of tests that can detect every possible substance out there."

So now we’re faced with two possible solutions: Rudy was crazy or on some untraceable drug. I’m hoping the man was just crazy, because an untraceable drug that causes you to eat other people’s faces is very scary. You understand what I’m saying.

We’re sure to hear more about this crazy case in the future, and as of right now, the poor homeless man who was attacked is still hospitalized. I’m rather terrified that the man wasn’t actually strung out on bath salts or something a lot more powerful – it means this whole case leaves us with too many questions.