Worst Resume Blunders Ever

There are a few things to keep in mind when applying for a job. Most importantly, don’t write a death threat on the back of your application. You should probably leave out your scamming hobby, too. These tips may seem obvious, but recent news stories and a study commissioned by Career Builder have shown that common sense isn’t common among some job seekers.

Jason Dornhoff applied for a job in a Kearney, Nebraska, restaurant by filling out the application, then added some additional information on the back of the page. It wasn’t extra job experience, it was a threat. According to court records obtained by Omaha.com, Dornhoff wrote “I have no money, a hung bomb in my truck, and a syringe of bleach that will kill you instantly. If you be quiet and help me, you won’t die.”

It’s safe to say that he was out of the running for the position. Around 11 p.m., a restaurant employee called police. When police arrived, they found Dornhoff sitting at the bar and no weapons in his vehicle. They discovered the 38-year-old man was on methamphetamines. The Huffington Post claims that Dornhoff “went to the restaurant in hopes of finding a way to fulfill his sexual fantasies.” Maybe the fantasies included the most tension-filled job interview of all time? Dornhoff is free after posting $10,000 bail, so he’ll be available to fill out a few more job applications before appearing in court in August.

Dornhoff’s application certainly got attention, but not the right kind. Career Builder commissioned a study, conducted by Harris Interactive, that surveyed 2,298 hiring managers about examples of resumes that stood out in both good and bad ways. Some not-so-great job applicants included hobbies like “gator hunting” or “phishing.” Telling a potential employer that you are a scam artist probably isn’t a great idea. One applicant for a job in Antarctica listed one of his skills as being able to speak “Antarctican.” Another applicant included that he was Homecoming Prom Prince in 1984; if 1984 was the last time you accomplished something, then it’s time to make some life changes, including your job. One applicant said he was “deetail-oriented” and went on to spell the company’s name wrong. Honesty is the best policy, except maybe when it comes to objectives. Most job applicants are looking “to make dough,” but only one actually put those exact words on his resume.

Then there are the little touches that are supposed to make your resume stand apart from the rest of the pile within the first few seconds (40% of hiring managers spend less than a minute reviewing resumes, 20% spend less than 30 seconds.) One hiring manager was given a resume decorated with pink bunnies. Much like 20% of hiring managers who are given resumes on decorative paper, this one dismissed the application. One candidate submitted a resume with a photo of himself relaxing in a hammock and the title “Hi, I’m ______ and I’m looking for a job.” Too bad no one told that relaxed man that 13% of hiring managers will immediately dismiss a resume that features a photo. A creative job seeker made it known that her resume was written to be sung to The Brady Bunch theme song. Unless the position she was applying for was a parody lyricist, it’s safe to say that she didn’t get the job.

It’s still a tough job market, but if you are looking and you have a little bit of common sense, odds are that you will fare better than those folks. Just remember to keep your resume brief (under two pages), include a list of skills (without any illegal ones), and make sure that you have an appropriate email address, preferably without extra Xs, the number 69, or curse words. Good luck!